Too much time...!

Before promos,it's like everyone's rushing about and busying themselves with imprinting the entire contents of their notes into their minds,and they were simply too occupied to do anything else. And that's when all the to-do lists after promos come out,like "I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna do that," and we would all sit around and imagine how good it would be if we can just stop our mindless cramming and do what we want to do so badly. Yet,now that promos are over,it seems we have too much time on our hands that we complain of nothing to do. As in,we are seriously a bunch of bored people who take joy in nothing but sleeping and thrashy gossips about everything ranging from perfumes to eccentric characters like Mr Harris and Mr Cook. And it doesn't help that almost all our teachers constantly cancel our tutorials! How ironic of me! If they had done that just a few months ago,I would have been crazy with glee,but now I'm like,"What the fuck...? More time to do nothing again?" Ugh,reaching a state of ennui...Spent nearly four hours stoning at the stone tables(how apt!) and watching the rest of the happy world pass by to their tutorials and lectures,sometimes listening to MP3 at full volume till my eardrums start ringing,sometimes spacing out at the piano while Faith and Eunice tinkle happily on the keys,sometimes sleeping rather fitfully on the stone-hard(well duh! It won't be the stone tables for nothing...) chairs in an uber uncomfortable position and getting painfully roused by certain cries and wails...It must have been the most boring time of my life! What exactly did I come to school for? 15 mins of Econs lecture,just to collect my paper and of course,training. But otherwise...sigh,forget it.


How "suay" we were today! Always the first to kena sai kang...Faith,Eunice and I happen to walk out to 7-11 for a much needed boredom-breaking breather when we got stopped by the security guard to "do a favour". And guess what it turned out to be? Taking down the huge open house banner just outside the gate,with the brick-heavy poles and all. The strings were so securely tied,the banner was somehow nailed to the poles,the wood shoved splinters into our hands,the sun was beating down hard on us,the whole thing was infested with red ants,weird bugsy,fragmenting cocoons and surprise surprise!-a lizard that ran all over my arms leaving behind a soft,squooshy feeling. *shakes her head* And amidst all that shit,that damned guard just sat on his heavy bottom,with his legs splayed out,on his huge comfy chair under the shade,and-best of all-combing(yes,COMBING. don't ask me why) his eggshell-smooth BALD head! Infuriating sight,I must say. We poor girls doing a job which Jancy asked him to do! But sigh,what the hell,let's just say,we did someone a favour today,and that should be rewarding enough.

Time is really running out! It sucks to see the days slip by and knowing what awaits at the end. *splinters and fragments* It's like,there's so much I want to do,but there is just no opportunity anywhere and anytime,and it's just so ARGHHHH to sit and watch time tick on without being able to do anything. Why oh why? It's just so cruel man...and this is like one of the worst feelings to have!

The pain that you feel,
but can't touch-
a pain you know of,
but can't explain.
A pain so fierce,
you go insane.
The unknown pain
that clutches your heart and burns in your soul.
The pain in your life,
too strong to carry on.
The unknown pain
that clouds your mind
and devours your every thought.
Oh the pain of broken promises,broken dreams
the pain that's unheard of
the pain that's not seen...

Look up in the clouds...

...and see the brilliant light filtering through like fingers of gold. Beautiful picture that is inherent of a thousand implicit meanings *hint hint:lit students* It's like releasing a gush of water from a previously clogged tap,or letting out rank air from an overstretched balloon,or opening the doors of an examination hall after the final paper and having throngs of students squeezing out. The idea behind it? Read between the lines and the similar motif among all three scenarios is indeed obvious,like white dots among a sea of black.

Trust, earned or lost
Do you have it from the beginning?
Do you earn it,
does it take long?
I think trust is earned and lost,
it must never be questioned...
For questioning trust is questioning your friend
If you have to question your friend
did you ever really trust them to begin with?
If trust is lost, will you ever get it back?
Will you ever be close to that person again,
will you ever hear their secrets?
How will it ever be the same again?

I understand what you mean Sarah,truly understand. Haha,yeah,it's like an epiphany that just kicked me in my head so hard,like how Jon Heng popped the floorball on my leg and left a red spot. Tough as you put it,it seems like the only way to go if I want to continue surviving in this increasingly warped world. What separates one fucking extreme from the other? Nothing but a thin line,as thin as that of a feeble guitar string. Guess I have to wake up and be more realistic,instead of forever trying so desperately hard to see the good-and mostly,fucked-up superficial-sides of people,when their actions are so blatantly screaming in my face...Whatever happened to the simple fundamentals that used to help build strong friendships? Where did those fucking values go? Honesty,love,TRUST. Fucking trust. And with that comes the oh-so-evil betrayal...how apt that behind every virtue is bound to have a totally screwed "non-virtue". Fuck that. Fuck betrayals and betrayers alike. Just so they can be the first to-wow-sensationalise things? Yet cowardly hide their betraying countenances behind loads of bloody promises and vows? Fuck you,all yer cowards...

Enough of rolling in useless waves of self-realisation-time to live life the non-fantasy way...oh,but not before I complete the last thing I have and want so badly to do. Friday? It will come...bring your positive energy to me Sarah,and let's do it...no more face to throw away anyway...! XD